Gene Genie

Today is going to be a crap day. Given the public nature of the internet I can't go into details but the next few weeks are going to be difficult, especially at work.

For the past few days I've been getting worked up about today. Whenever I think about it, I start to panic and it often brings me to tears. I know those who are important to me are thinking of me and this morning my sister sent me a text.

This text was an audio clip from Ashes to Ashes. A brilliant programme with possibly one of the best television characters ever invented: Gene Hunt!

I should hate everything about Gene Hunt. He is sexist, racist, homophobic, bigoted and generally arrogant. However, he is also incredibly sexy! I'm not the only person who thinks this either. Women of all ages across the land are swooning for this middle aged, divorced workoholic policeman and no one can really understand why!

But what I really like about Gene Hunt, apart from the fact he had some of the best and funniest lines on TV, is the fact he doesn't take crap from anyone. He is good at his job even if he is slightly unconventional about it. He doesn't take kindly to people who don't understand criticising him. He stands up for what he believes and says it like it is.

I think I can learn something from Gene Hunt. Especially today.

Right, lets fire up the quatrro

Funny man

Last night I went to see Dara O'Briain at the Hippodrome in Birmingham. I went with George and Damo as Stephen had booked his tickets before we'd met!

It was great fun. He's a very funny man and it was nice just to be entertained for an evening. My stomach muscles ache from laughing so much and every now and then a smile creeps across my face as I remember a particular joke from the show.

He's a very funny man and I'd love to see him live again sometime.

I won't bother trying to repeat any of the jokes from the show. "You had to be there!" ;-)

Love is in the air...

It's Valentine's Day today and for the first time for...well, too long, I am not single. I have had a lovely text of Stephen and this evening we are going out for dinner. We've both taken tomorrow off so that we can have a lie in and spend the day just being together.


Obviously when I was single I hated Valentine's Day. I was the same as everyone else saying it was a commercial holiday that didn't mean anything and that if people needed a special day in order to tell someone that you love them then your relationship can't be that good and blah blah blah. Now I'm on the other side of the fence then I feel bad for thinking like that.


Yes it is shoved in the face of everyone who is single but no more than Christmas is for non-Christians or Easter for diabetics.


Yes, Valentine's Day is overly commercialised but so are all holidays nowadays. Christmas, Mother's Day, Easter.


No, I don't need a day to know that Stephen loves me. He tells me and shows me every day and for that I know I am truely blessed


But tonight we will go out for dinner and celebrate because for me Valentine's Day is an excuse to eat lots of Italian food and drink a lovely bottle of wine and share a lot of laughs. I am not expecting flowers to be delivered to the office or overblown romantic gestures but I will continue to smile and look forward to my evening out with the man I love.


I do not want to push our love into people's faces but neither will I apologise for being happy.


If you're single or you don't celebrate Valentine's Day then fine, don't. Ignore it. But don't try to ruin my day because of it.

Look into my eyes...

On Tuesday night I had an appointment with a hypnotherapist.

I'd actually won it in a raffle at a networking event I went to so I thought I'd go along and give it a go. After all, I had nothing to lose.

The one thing I want to change my life is my weight. I am happy with my job (most of the time), I love my flat and have a wonderful boyfriend. The only thing I'd love would be to be a bit slimmer. I know my problem...I have no self control. I don't necessarily eat when I'm hungry. I eat when I'm bored or just because I'm tempted by something or I 'fancy' it. I start every day saying 'I'm going to be good today' and by 3:30 I'm munching on a chocolate bar.

I talked to the hypnotherapist about this and she said she could help me. She gave me some practical advice about diet and weightloss and then we went into the hypnotherapy. I wasn't exactly sceptical but I wasn't pinning all of my hopes on it however as she talked me down I felt myself relax until the only thing I was aware of was her voice talking to me. I wasn't asleep or unconscious. I could have moved or come out of it at any point but I didn't want to.

I drove home afterwards and cooked dinner all the time wondering 'Has this worked?'. I ate with Stephen and stopped when I was full, leaving the last of it for Stephen to finish off. Yesterday morning I woke up and ate breakfast then went to work. I ate my lunch, worked all afternoon and came home. In the evening I had dinner then I had a banana before going to bed.

I did not eat anything between meals. I did not snack. I was not tempted by the plate of chocolate biscuits left in the kitchen, or the packets of crisps. I wasn't tempted by chocolate when I went to Tescos to collect a prescription. I was amazed.

I listened to the 'top-up' CD I had been given by the hypnotherapist last night although I fell asleep. I woke up this morning and had breakfast and have just eaten lunch, having had nothing in between.

I feel fantastic. I feel positive. I feel like maybe, finally, I've found something which can help me do the one thing I have always struggled to do.

A year of walking, weighing and wishing

And so another year begins. I feel different this year. I'm not so full of high hopes and wishful thinking but I am positive nonetheless.

I don't really know where I want to be by the time 2009 rolls around because I am fairly happy with where I am now.

Stephen and I celebrate 100 days together tomorrow. I can honestly say I've never been happier. He's like a dream come true. He's wonderful and sweet and funny. He makes me laugh, he makes me feel safe, he makes me feel like the most perfect woman in the world.

I've just been promoted at work so whilst I'm always keeping my eyes open for what's around, I'm happy staying here for now. New challenges mean I'm not bored and I can see a future, for the time being.

I love my flat. It really feels like home - mess and all!! I sometimes struggle to keep it tidy and understand a lot more now what my parents go through! It gets me down sometimes but I get over it and blitz it every now and then. I sometimes feel that my life is too busy to really enjoy my flat but that's not really true. I enjoy it when I'm there and the rest of the time it's just somewhere to lay my head.

The one thing I do want to change this year is my weight. I feel I say this every year and as positive as I am each year, it never quite comes true. This time Stephen and I are doing it together. We joined a gym on Saturday and have signed up to a 12 week personal training programme so that we're not just aimlessly trudging round the Cardio room. I am going to do the 7 day detox diet that I did last Summer. I lost 1st in a week last time and whilst I appreciate that that was not all fat, the quick results motivated me and kickstarted me into losing even more weight so hopefully it'll do the same this time.

Hannah and I have also signed up for the Playtex Moonwalk in May. It is a 26 mile marathon powerwalk that takes place in London...at night...in decorated bras! It's to raise money for breast cancer charities, a cause close to my heart. I enjoy walking and know that with enough motivation and training I can really do this. I felt bad about the Hydro Active. I hated running so didn't really train and whilst I'm proud I completed it and really chuffed I managed to run about half of it, I felt that I could have done better. So with walking it should be better as it's exercise that I can do every day and really enjoy.

So that's it. 2008 will be a year of discovery. A year of just seeing what happens...

Update

It's been a while since i last blogged. I'll do a proper update soon but I've just not felt like it.

It's almost Christmas time. I love Christmas and have been listening to christmas tunes on my ipod for a couple of weeks!

I've met a lovely man. He makes me very happy and treats me like a princess.

Work's still there!

End of update!

Keep on running!

I’ve worked at Leukaemia CARE for nearly two years and met hundreds of runners and given advice to them but personally, I’ve never taken part in a race.

On Sunday that all changed as I took part in the Hydro Active Women's Challenge, a 5km run around Hyde Park. It is organised by the London marathon office and involved 15,000 women running for all sorts of good causes.

I was running with my sister and as we lined up at the start at 11am the nerves kicked in but as we counted down and started to shuffle forwards to the start line the nerves turned to excitement. Waved across the start line by Linda Robson, my sister and I ran hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder. We ran past some of the slower runners and people who were walking the whole distance, waved on by the crowds (and some very bemused tourists!).

As we passed the 1km mark my sister gave me the thumbs up. I grinned with pride. I hate running but here I was one fifth of the way through a race. At about 1.5km I needed to walk for a bit but told my sister to go on ahead of me. I power walked for a while then just after the 2km mark started to run again. At half way there were a lot of crowds and other charities supporting their runners which again was a huge pick up. Just after 3km I saw my brother-in-law who was our one man support team! I high fived him and jogged off around the corner feeling a new life in my legs.

The rest of the course was a mixture of walking and running, I’d developed several blisters on my feet and was feeling quite dehydrated. There was quite a big hill about 500m from the finish which might as well have been Mount Everest but once I was past that I could see the finish. My legs picked up, I started to run and with 100m to go I sprinted to the finish as the announcer said ‘Well done, Alice’ over the loud speaker. As I crossed the finish line I expected to feel jubilant and excited. Actually I felt like I was going to die and nearly crashed straight into Jonathon Davies and a BBC camera crew! I soon recovered, especially as I was handed my finishers medal and goodie bag and the elation kicked in.

I completed the run in 45 minutes which I am SO proud of. I am not a runner. I hate running. I used to cheat at cross country! But I did it and I’m glad I did. I think that it just goes to show that you can do anything if you put your mind to it.

Thank you to everyone who sponsored my sister and me, if anyone else would like to sponsor us you can do it online at www.justgiving.com/aliceandhannah

Changes - Turn and Face the Strain

A lot has changed since I last blogged. It's been nearly 2 months.

Well I have moved out of the family home into my very own flat. It's lovely and it's nice to have space and my own stuff. I'm still terrified about it all but its too late now.

I feel odd today. I've been off work for a week and today is my first day back. I cannot wait for it to finish. I'm so frustrated and feel so ill. I am trying not to get irritated by everything but its quite hard!

I don't know. I thought everything would be better and that I was on the right track but actually, whilst everything is different, nothing has changed.

"Which Way Do I Go?"

One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree.

"Which road do I take?" she asked.

"Where do you want to go?" was his response.

"I don't know," Alice answered.

"Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

Smoking Ban

A smoking ban comes into force on Sunday. You won't be allowed to smoke in enclosed public spaces. So no smoking in bars, restaurants, clubs, offices, etc.

There is a massive, incredibly expensive advertising campaign to let people know about the ban.

Why? It's all over the news and has been for ages. There's articles in papers, thousands of leafelts anywhere within 10m of somewhere that sells patches so unless for the past few months you've been in some kind of nicotine induced coma, you know there is a ban coming into force.

I doubt there is a smoker in the country who hasn't had some smug, over zealous health freak come bounding up to them whilst trying to enjoy a brief moment of tar-related bliss wagging their finger and telling them that their days are numbered. It's not like they aren't aware that the ban is coming in.

Or is this stupid waste of government money just in case there are those out there thinking about taking it up as a new hobby!

Either way, I don't have any opinion on this smoking ban. I am an ex-smoker. I'm not an annoying ex-smoker who is 'reformed' and now preaching the gospel of fresh air to all an sundry. Nor am I an ex-smoker who hangs around smokey bars desperately trying to inhale nicotine passively or somehow letting it osmosise through my skin into my veins.

I don't care whether people smoke or not. I don't like stupid drunk tarts brandishing their cigarettes on the dance floor like some miniture glow stick as more often than not their spacial awareness is somewhat lacking leaving me a human ashtray. But the smokey atmosphere doesn't bother me.

In fact, whilst the majority of people are excited at the prospect of being able to go home from a night out not smelling of cigarette smoke, I am getting increasingly nervous about actually being able to smell the vile body odour and cheap aftershave of the no hopers who hang around town on a Saturday night.

God bless the government for bestowing this pleasure on us.

Like ships in the night

Isn't it strange how there are people in your life who you recognise but don't know. People who you see as you go through your life but never actually talk to. Like the muscle heads who are always using the weights area at the gym, the girl behind the bar at the nightclub, and the people you pass every morning on your way to work.

There is one girl I drive past every morning on my way to work. She wears the same thing to work every day and walks the same route. In the summer she wears a long black skirt, black vest and trainers and in the winter she wears black striped trousers, a black hoodie and the same trainers.

Over the weekend, this girl had her haircut. It looks really nice. Before she had long straight hair with no real 'style' and now it's all shaped around her face and just looks great.

I don't know this girl. I don't know her name or where she works. But part of me wants to be able to tell her that her hair looks really nice and it really suits her. But I can't. Because she wouldn't even recognise me as all I do is drive past her every day without her noticing.

Moving on with life - My Mid-Twenties Crisis

Okay, well once again I've failed to blog for over 2 weeks but never mind, eh? It's been an odd two weeks.

My sister got married. She's now Mrs Hannah Gordon which is incredibly exciting but weird at the same time. The wedding day went really quickly. I have no idea where time went or what I did all day. Part of me feels like I missed it, that it didn't really happen. For the past 16 months everything has been geared towards the wedding. Anything else that needed to be done was put off till 'after the wedding' and now it is after the wedding but all of the other stuff is still waiting to be done.

I went back to work and nothing had changed. I had nothing to work towards, just the usual things. Due to various reasons (which I could do a whole other post about!), I've now not seen my manager for over 3 weeks so I don't really have any direction at work.

I turn 25 in two and a half months and I'm having a bit of a crisis about it.

I've always been one to plan and right now, I have no plan. This terrifies me.

Whilst I love my job, I don't feel like it's going anywhere. Things keep changing at the office but not for me. I stay the same, do the same things. I don't feel like I have any support from people higher than me. I'm not paid much and I have no 'career ladder' to climb. It all feels completely in limbo.

I still live with my parents and can't really afford to move out. I love my parents but I want my own space. But could I cope with living on my own? I get really lonely sometimes but at the same time don't have any friends I'd want to live with, I like being on my own sometimes.

I can't really afford to buy somewhere due to the wonderful way the property market is in this country but renting seems like throwing money away. Plus on my own with my crap wage, I can't really afford anywhere half decent and I don't want to live in a hole.

And as for other life plans: husbands, kids etc. That doesn't look like it's happening any time soon. I was seeing a guy who turned out to be an arsehole. I'm not heartbroken, it wasn't exactly a long term thing but I just feel stupid for believing that he was a nice guy when clearly he wasn't. Hannah got engaged when she was 25 and whilst I know I don't have to compare myself to her, it scares me how different my life is.

So there you go, I'm about to turn 25 and am absolutely terrified about it.

My Big Sis

In 24 hours my sister will no longer be Hannah Watts. She'll be Mrs Hannah Gordon.

I'm so excited by this but at the same time it doesn't all seem real.

I'm ready for the wedding. I've had my hair cut and my skin tanned. I've had body hair removed and been wrapped in gel and bandages. I've had my nails extended and feet scrubbed. I've got my dress and shoes and jewellery. The orders of service are ready, the menus are printed, the place cards are being written. It's all happening but somehow I can't get it into my head that my big sister, my best friend, is getting married tomorrow.

I'm excited. I am excited because weddings are fun and I love a big party. I am excited because my sister is going to look beautiful. I'm excited because I get a pretty dress and have my hair done. I'm excited because my sister has found someone to share her life with, someone who completes her and makes her happy. I'm excited because I get to have a brother, someone to look out for me (he's already started by giving Hannah the third degree about the guy I'm seeing!).

I don't think it'll seem real until we're outside the church. But it'll be good.

Death, selfishness and grief by the book

Last weekend my Granddad died. It was sudden but I suppose, given that he was in his late eighties, not entirely unexpected.

I am incredibly upset by his death. I loved him so much and have so many happy memories. When I was growing up he used to let me get away with murder! He'd shower me and my sister with presents and we'd go to the drive through McDonalds and take their dog for walks on Cannock Chase. I used to comb his hair whilst he sat on the chair. I used to drink tea from my Errol the Hamster mug and have penguins or kit kats from the pantry. He would tell me stories about all the jobs he'd done and the people he'd met. He'd talk about his time in the war and when he met my Gran.

And now there won't be any more of that.

In all honesty there hadn't been much of that for quite a while but somehow I feel cheated. I feel like I wasn't given a chance to say goodbye and tell him how much I loved him and what he meant to me. When my other Grandpa died and when my Gran died they'd been ill for a long time and we knew it was the end. This was supposed to be a Sunday like any other Sunday when Daddy had simply gone to see him to do his duteous son bit.

But for as much as I loved him, when I was told he'd died, my first thought wasn't one of sadness or shock, it was purely selfish. All I could think was what bad timing it was. In the next few weeks there's a lot going on. Things are very busy at work, it's my sister's hen do and then wedding. My first thought was that I didn't have time for grief.

Maybe some part of this was to do with my job. I face death as a fairly common occurrence with work and not only have been taught how to deal with it but have an NVQ in Bereavement Counselling. I know how you are 'supposed' to grieve. I know the stages and I know what's normal and what's abnormal grief and yet I don't feel like that. I feel as though I should be ticking the boxes as I go through stages but I'm not.

I don't feel anything. I'm not overwhelmed with grief, I'm not sad and crying 24 hours a day. I'm not even thinking about it that much. When I'm at work I think of work things and when I'm at home I think of what's on telly or what's for supper or what washing I need to do. I do cry, but often its triggered by something completely unrelated.

I feel like I'm still waiting for it to hit me. I'm worried that after my sister's wedding at the beginning of May, when I finally stop and take a deep breath, that that's when I won't be able to cope.

Nothing like a bit of Sunshine

The sun is shining and its relatively warm. This means its spring and there is nothing which makes me happier. Not only does it mean longer days and warmer weather but I look damn sexy in my sunglasses!

So, it's time to roll the car windows down, turn up the music and get ready for the summer.

For the first time in a long time, I'm feeling truely positive.

Lack of blogging

I've not felt like blogging much recently. I keep checking back on it thinking someone might have done it for me. Like someone else can just take my thoughts out of my brain and type them out in some vaguely elloquant form on my behalf!

There's been several things I've contemplated blogging on. Here's a brief round up:

* It snowed. It took me 9 1/2 hours to get to and from London. But hey, it was a day out the office. I don't understand how the underground gets so messed up by a bit of snow. Especially when the majority of it is, as the name suggests, UNDER GROUND.

* I hate my job. I'm sick of it. Actually no. I'm sick of the people I work for. I'm sick of not being trusted. I'm sick of people having no belief in me and not being able to contemplate for just a second that I might actually be good at my job.

* We have a new kitten. He's called Harry. He's 4 months old and exceptionally cute (pictures to follow!). Unfortunately he doesn't understand how much his claws and teeth hurt against human skin and therefore the little terrorist has covered me with scratches and puncture marks!

That's about it, I think. I don't want to delve any deeper into my subconscious as whenever I do my entire body gets covered in a rush of absolute dread.

Jade Goody

I hate Jade Goody.

I believe she represents everything that is wrong with society today and living proof that television has reached it's lowest form and the people it is reaching out to are only able to communicate through some ug-language and in doing so undo thousands of years of evoultion and labour.

Jade Goody is the flakiest scab of celebrities which should be peeled off and flicked triamphantly towards the waste paper bin of eternity.

In 2002 (yes, nearly FIVE years ago), Jade Goody went into the Big Brother house. I like Big Brother. It entertains me. It's like having pets you don't have to feed. But I don't think that Big Brother should encourage anyone into the false pretense that 'real people' have of the requisites of fame. They should come along, entertain us for the summer, have a bit of publicity and then go back to some vaguely normal life and leave 'being a celebrity' to those who have a bit of talent.

There was a brief lived television series called 'What Jade Did Next'. It seemed a slightly bizarre when no one had previously bothered to answer the question of what the hell Jade ever did in the first place but now, whenever I see Jade Goody on the cover of OK! or Heat or any tabloid or even, heaven forbid, back on the television screen polluting my ear drums with her vile Bermondsy twang, I have an overwhelming urge to scream 'WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!?'

On the one hand you almost have to respect her. The woman has made millions for doing absolutely bugger all. She's managed to fool a large number people into caring what is going on in her life.

Apparently Jade's 'charm' is that she's 'real'. A slightly ironic statement when you consider the amount of plastic surgery she's had. Maybe it's the fact that she's 'working class', a phrase which the tabloids seem so difficult to define in an age where we're all supposed to be whipping up Nigella Lawson delights and working on our decking at the weekend. Maybe is shows us that Jade still eats pie and chips with her mates and swaps cheery banter with the green grocer and clings to all the vestiages of a lost age. If Jade is 'working class' then the working classes are demanding agents and memberships to Soho House and Cartier watches?

It worries me that every struggling school kid and now say 'Look at Jade. She can barely read, can't spell, struggles to add up and now she's buying a BMW and a flat in Primrose Hill'.

Of course for millions its just another promise the tabloids can't deliver. Jade is the spawn of the tabloid world, oblivious to the world, books and outside knowledge. And now, like some demented modern farmer, the tabloids are starting to feed themselves on their own diseased product. It is like a mother complaining that the child she's brought up on a diet of pure fizzy drinks and McDonalds is now fat and acned.

Jade has entered 'Celebrity Big Brother' and all hell has broken loose. With every day that passes I can imagine Jade's publicists have less and less hair as they all watch helplessly screaming 'Just stop talking' at the television screen.

I am sitting back watching it unfold and secretly hoping that the very television programme that launched Jade into this inexplicable superstar will be the very thing that leads to her ultimate demise.

It's a beautiful irony.

2006 - The Year That Was

Okay so Christmas is over. The mince pies are all gone, the Quality Street is almost empty (apart from the boring toffee penny ones), the comb, moustache, fake plastic nail-through-finger and spinning top from the crackers are over the dining table along with the salt and pepper and other stuff we couldn't be bothered to put away after christmas dinner. We've had a sleep and played a quiz and now it's time to turn our attention to the fact that in four days time 2006 will be over and consigned to the history books as the year that was.

And how better to reflect upon 2006 than with a cheesy quiz that someone emailed to me...

1) Where did you begin 2006? In Cathy's flat drinking pints of vodka and diet coke, eating chinese and playing music DVD quizes!

2) What was your status by Valentine's Day? Single. Someone later told me they wanted to send me a card but had no idea how to get it to me!

3) Were you in school (anytime this year)? Nope. I've worked all year. In the same job!

5) Did you have to go to the hospital? Not for treatment

6) Did you have any encounters with the police? Only through work. Not cos I'd done anything naughty! I'm a good girl!

7) Where did you go on holiday? Rhodes, with my sister. Also went to Albi (France) for a rugby game and on a rugby torunament in Reading.

8) What did you purchase that was over £500? Other than my holiday, nothing. My season ticket was just over £300

9) Did you know anybody who got married? Yep, Camilla and Chris got married. And Dave and Vicky (but I didn't go to that one)

10) Did you know anybody who passed away? Yes. Sadly.

11) Have you run into anybody you left high school with? Yes. Not that I really remembered him!

12) Did you move anywhere? Nope

13) What sporting events did you go to?Well I went to the odd Warriors match. Also went to the Guinness Premiership Final (which was good) and the Middlesex Sevens (Not so good!)

14) What was the best concert/show did you go to? I don't think I went to one. That seems quite sad. I wanted to go see Paulo Nutini but couldn't because of work.

15) Are you registered to vote? Yes

16) Who did you want to win Big Brother? Pete - He was cool.

17) Where do you live now? Worcester

18) Describe your birthday. I didn't really do anything on my actual birthday. Went out for a nice meal with parents. Couple of days later was the first pre-season at the rugby so I celebrated with my friends at that.

19) What's the one thing you thought you would never do but did in 2006? Help get rid of my boss!

20.) What has been your favourite moment? Probably the Albi trip a couple of weekends ago. There was probably about an hour in the entire weekend when I wasn't having a brilliant time. Holiday with my sister was cool too. Oh and the London Marathon and the 18 hours in the white van to and from the Great North Run.

21.) What's something you learned about yourself? People think a lot more of me than I tend to believe.

23.) What was your best month/months? April and May

24.) What music will you remember 2006 by? Paulo Nutini

25) Who has been your best drinking buddy? Marie. Considering about 18 months ago I thought she hated my guts, she's become quite a good friend!!

26) Made new friends? Yes - Sophie's someone I feel like I've known forever.

27) New best friend? No. But some good friends have become very good friends.

28) Favourite Night out? End of Season dinner. Bloody brilliant night.

29) Any regrets? One or two but lets not dwell on them!

So, Sunday evening is New Year's Eve. The one night of the year I utterly despise! New Year's Eve comes with far too much pressure.

Firstly, you have to decide who you want to spend New Years Eve with. If you have several different groups of friends this can be particularly difficult. This can be made even worse if you have a boyfriend/girlfriend who also has several different groups of friends and often in different cities.

Once you've decided on who you're spending it with, you've then got to decide where. Invariably there are two basic options. Both come with pros and cons. Option 1: House party. Option 2: Pub/Bar/Club

Option 1: House party

Pros:
* Free to get in
* Take your own alcohol so relatively cheap
* No closing time
* Don't have to dress up or deal with annoying bouncers

Cons:
* You're stuck with the same people all night with absolutely no chance of 'running into' another group of friends. It's also highly unlikely you'll meet anyone new.
* They're usually in the middle of nowhere which means you either have to sleep uncomfortably on someone's floor which means you start the new year, not only with a hangover but with the backpain from hell or you catch one of the most expensive taxis ever back to your own bed.
* People tend to drink far too much at house parties and someone ends up throwing up in the toilet which means if you actually need to use the toilet for reasons it was intended you have a long wait.
* Even worse someone throws up not in the toilet
* When the 'volatile' couple amongst your friends has their fight, everyone knows about it and it puts everyone in a bad mood.
* After you've tuned the telly into BBC to watch Big Ben's bongs then it's all a bit of a let down.
* You spend the entire night wondering if you'd have had more fun if you'd gone into town with your other group of friends.

Option 2: Pub/Bar/Club

Pros:
* Constant supply of music, usually quite fun and cheesy. Usually quite varied rather than the music nazi's choice from the house party.
* If you get bored with the people you're with, you can make some new friends!
* Everyone is in the party atmosphere, if there is anyone in a bad mood, they'll go home rather than hanging round like a rainy day!
* You can go to another bar if the one you're in is a bit crap

Cons:
* You have to pay to get in almost everywhere
* Drinks tend to magically go up in price
* Everywhere is packed so you queue for hours to get a drink
* At midnight some sleezy drunken vile excuse for a man seems to think its alright to invade your personal space and try to stick his tongue down your throat claiming it's a 'New Year Kiss'.
* You HAVE to have fun and can't get bored, tired and go home early!
* You spend the entire night wondering if you'd have had more fun if you'd gone to the house party with your other group of friends.

So, yes. I hate New Year's Eve. Last year was an exception. Last year I went round to Cathy's flat. We bought some snacks from Tescos and Charlie and the Chocolate Factory on DVD. We then went to 'Wok'n'Roll' for a chinese, we were in our PJs by 8:30 and spent the evening watching films, playing DVD games, watching the crap New Year's Eve telly and eating ourselves silly. At midnight, we leaned out of her window and watched the fireworks over the city.

Hopefully something similar will be happening this year but with Marie and Jon. Then on New Year's Day we'll all pile into my car and drive up to Northampton to watch some shite excuse for a rugby match...but that's another blog for another day.


Happy New Year !!!

The Good Life

Last weekend I went to Albi to watch Worcester Warriors take on Albi in the European Challenge Cup.

I went with Darren and Tracy, friends from the rugby club, but met up with several other people we know. There was a group of around 15 of us who spent most of the weekend together.

The majority of this group are known as 'The Giraffes'. They're a group of men who are a variety of ages who enjoy rugby, enjoy drinking, enjoy singing and enjoy each others company. They're a lot of fun. In normal lives they're managing directors of companies, they're accountants, they're salesmen, they're team leaders but when it comes to the weekend and the rugby, none of that matters. It doesn't matter who does what for a living or how much money they earn or any kind of social status. The only agenda for weekends like this is to have fun.

And we did.

We started drinking about 7am at Gatwick airport where some poor kid was standing outside duty free giving away Baileys. He fast became my best friend and didn't have the heart to tell me to piss off! We then flew to Tolouse and went to a bar called 'Le Winger' where the alcoholic owner with very limited English bought us pints of Heineken and kissed us goodbye in a very continental way. After arriving in Albi and getting sorted in our hotel we went to O'Sullivans, an Irish bar just round the corner from our hotel. It's the pub in the picture and the outside had been made to look like Santas Grotto. Very cool. I don't know why when we go to foreign countries we look for Irish/British bars but we found it, it was nice. We then sat there all night and drank and sang and stood on chairs.

This set the tone for the weekend where more drinking, singing and standing on chairs ensued.

There was a rugby match at one point too!! It almost seemed a bonus in a weekend of fun and winning was the icing on the cake. The Albi supporters were very hospitable, I was invited to serve behind the bar and then got given free beer! All good!!

I've never laughed so much in one weekend. Every single minute of it was fun. It made me realise that as much as I get worked up over work or friends or men or life or anything else, at the end of the day, it is possible just to have fun.

If only all of life could be like that although I don't know if my liver could cope!

If car technology had kept up with computer technology...

At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated, "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25.00 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating: If General Motors had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue.For some reason you would simply accept this.

4. Occasionally, executing a manoeuvre such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and twice as easy to drive - but would run on only five percent of the roads.

6. The oil, water temperature, and alternator warning lights would all be replaced by a single "This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation" warning light.

7. The airbag system would ask "Are you sure?" before deploying.

8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.

9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all overagain because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

10. You'd have to press the "Start" button to turn the engine off.