Blogging

Now, I know I'm not a famous blogger and the fact that my posts tend to average about 1 every 3 months at the moment probably goes some way to explaining why that is. However, I do like writing and enjoy sharing my thoughts with the world whether they choose to read them or not.

I am currently writing my work's 'Social Media Policy' which is about as dreary as the weather on this Monday afternoon that I'm writing it so I thought I'd take a break to update my blog (before the policy gets written and it becomes 'illegal' to do so at work!).

Now there are blogs about anything. And so there should be. If someone is passionate enough to write about a subject, there's got to be people out there interested in reading about them. From food to fashion, dancing to driving, if you're doing it, you can guarantee someone else is blogging about it.

Which leads me on to the phenomenon of wedding blogs.

For those that don't know or didn't get the subtle hints in my update blog, I am now betrothed (awesome word) and will be becoming Mrs Alice Higgins on 8th October 2011. I do love weddings and if every other bride to be in the world is even a fraction of how happy and excited I am then good on them.

As I say, I love weddings. I love going to weddings. I love talking about weddings. I love reading about weddings. But there does come a point where enough is enough and I want to go and hide away from anything wedding related because it's all becoming a bit stressful. I don't know why I do it to myself really!!

There are some fab wedding blogs out there.

Dainty Brides(http://www.mission2wed.blogspot.com/) is great for small finds and reminding us why we're putting ourselves through this stress in the first place.

Mission 2 Wed (http://www.mission2wed.blogspot.com/) is a local girl who is getting married in 9 months and shares all the excitement that I do. I have never met her but I keep squealing when I read her posts.

And possibly my favourite for amazing ideas: Style Me Pretty (http://www.stylemepretty.com/) which I've not even really had a chance to look through yet but every page I have looked at is brimming with ideas and pretty things that I would love to be able to replicate on our special day.

This blog is not a wedding blog but there will, obviously, be wedding related stuff in it. It's part of my life and although there's plenty of time, I do enjoy thinking about it and finding nice stuff that we might be able to use. We do not have a lot of money to throw at our wedding but I think my experience in event organisation and creativity of family and friends means its going to be one hell of a party!!!

So long I hardly know it

Once more I have forgotten my blog. Either that or the words just wouldn't come.
Things have changed. I've changed. Here's some things I have learned.

* You can't win every battle, choose wisely and let the others pass
* The future is always exciting, no matter how bleak things can look now
* 19 diamonds are better than 1
* I am growing up whether I like it or not
* Scary can be good
* It's okay to sometimes be angry with God. He can take it.
* Cats are great company
* Cats are their own beings and some times just don't want a cuddle
* Watching more than 10 minutes of Jeremy Kyle makes me want to throw something at the telly
* People only go on Loose Women to promote something. It's usually not worth promoting.
* I know what a labral is
* Wedding planning is good fun although sometimes slightly surreal. Hatlet, anyone?

I shall, as always, endevour to post more often.

Same old brand new me!

I've just rediscovered my blog after a long long long time. It's now 2010 and I decided this year not to relaunch myself. Not to have resolutions that would depress me next year when I hadn't achieved them. Instead I'm going to keep on keeping on. I don't care where I am this time next year, so long as something has changed.



That is not to say I don't have goals. There are things I want to achieve this year and things that I want to progress but that's where things stop.



I'm fairly happy with where I am now. S and I have moved in together, work is okay if slightly monotonous and things are trundling along nicely.



The best thing about the future being unknown is that anything can happen.



Here's to tomorrow...and whatever it might hold.

Words and feelings in my head

Things are a lot better now, I've calmed down and S and I are going away tomorrow for a few days by ourselves. No more kids or families or mother in laws. Just the two of us.

These past few days I've felt slightly agitated and restless. I've been wanting to write things down but wasn't too sure what. I've wanted to just get things out, written down. It's not particularly about how I've been feeling or any particularly poetic observations. I just wanted to write.

Part of me has been thinking about work. Part of me has wanted to plan for the future. Sitting in S's brother's house, looking at everything he and his family has has made me think a lot about the future. What my future will be like, what I want it to be like and how we are going to get there.

I make no excuses for liking the finer things in life. I know the kind of house I want to live in and car I want to drive. I'm not saying that I wouldn't be happy with less because I know that these are material things and at the end of the day, so long as Stephen and I are together with a roof over our heads and food on the table then I'll have everything I need. But why aim for second best?

I am a very positive and determind person but one of my problems is that I do not always have the plan to back up my ideas. I have a firm belief that something will happen and whilst I believe in fate and God and that we have support to fulfil our wildest dreams if we want them enough, maybe I should be doing something to make it all happen!

I guess I struggle with my beliefs. On the one hand I believe in God and believe in fate and believe that everyone has a purpose in life. On the other hand I believe that we make our own destiny and that we have to work hard and dream harder to get the things we want in life.

Thomas Jefferson is atritbuted to the quote "The harder I work, the luckier I become" and it is a mantra many millionaires stand by. Another is that "you can achieve anything if you want it badly enough." But is just wanting it enough?

I won't wait for opportunity to knock. I am bad at sitting around doing nothing. I noticed it when I was ill a couple of weeks ago. I noticed it in the first few days of my holiday. I cannot just wait for things to come to me, for life to pass me by. I want to get out there, grab life by the throat and say 'Come on then! What have you got?'

Oz Experience

I am currently in Perth, Western Australia. I am visiting my boyfriend's brother who lives out here with his wife and two children. Obviously, I am with my boyfriend but his other brother and mother are also here. All together there are eight people in this house and I am the only one who is not a Higgins!

We arrived at 1am on Monday morning and it is now Thursday afternoon, we are here for 3 weeks so there is still a long time to go. I am having a wonderful time. It's nice to be on holiday. I have not had a break since I went to Rhodes with my sister in 2006. It is nice to escape the UK which hasn't seen sun in such a long time. It is nice to get away from my life there for a little while and forget about work and everything that has happened in the last year. I feel relaxed.

There are times that I have been not so relaxed. Back home I live alone and although I am a sociable person, I like my own space and peace and quiet. With eight people in a house (including 2 under the age of 10) peace and quiet does not come easily. I am worried about making a good impression on the family I have not met before. For the past 18 months I have been with Stephen, I've heard so much about them, about how much he loves and misses the kids and how important it is for me to get on with them. There is pressure to behave properly in someone else's house which is fine but does mean that I am always slightly on edge and cannot totally relax. Stephen's mother is a typical Irish mother who fusses and makes sure that everyone is okay all the time and that you do not want for anything. It is very sweet but again, can be very draining when I'd rather just be lying peacefully in silence.

I always worry what other people think of me. I don't want to be butting in on this precious family time so have to keep reminding myself that I was invited to come along. Stephen's eldest brother (who lives here) is 21 years older than me and I am desperate not to come across as a stupid kid. I don't want to annoy Stephen's other brother who seems to get worked up at everything.

I'm sure things will be okay and that it is just a case of adjusting. This is only day four and I think we are all only just about getting over jetlag. I will just relax into things and now that the kids are off school for the holidays, I think it is about time to have some fun.

Being the change

Today made me happy. Today I made other people happy.

Within five minutes this morning two people said I had made them happy. The first was someone who I sent an email to saying thank you. She'd done something to help me so I wanted to thank her. She said that she had been having a really tough time lately and that my email had just made her morning.

The second was a very good friend who has helped me through some very difficult times. One of the things we used to do was listen to very cheesy CDs as we went on many a road trip. A couple of weeks ago I made her a CD with some songs on it that I thought she would appreciate. She sent me a text this morning saying that she was lstening to a CD and it had made her smile.

I like doing things for other people. I love christmas because I can buy lots of people presents and make them smile. I take a lot of time over presents, making sure that people love each and every one of them.

I think maybe that's why I enjoy working for a charity. I stood in the lounge at work the other day, watching the centre users chatting and laughing with each other. I was slightly overwhelmed at the thought that without the charity, without the work that I do, they wouldn't have that. It really made me happy.

Putting pen to page

I'm actually writing this blog entry on paper. With a pen. No where near a computer. Obviously, as you're reading this, I've since typed it up but there is something quite nice about being about to put pen to paper and let the thoughts flow.

I like writing because it is slower. With a typing speed of around 70 words per minute, my fingers can quite often work a lot faster than my brain My thoughts get flustered and muddled and the words start to jump about on the screen.

I forget what I have already typed as the words are spurned higher up on the screen to make space for the new ones. Constantly moving vowels and consonants forming words and sentences almost of their own accord; taking on a life of their own, separate from the author who created them.

I like writing. I like the flow of the words as letters merge into each other, something which doesn't happen in type. I like the curls of my handwriting, the 'l' and the 'g' and the 'w'. The flair which makes these words mine. The little marks and inflections which I can recognise as mine. They are my voice on the paper, my accent translated through the pen

The typed word can seem so cold and stark. So impersonal. Like a robotic voice - no colours, no emotions. Each letter identical every time, standing alone. No mistakes, no scribbles, no personality. Anonymous words on a flickering screen.

But without typing and computers, these words would just remain here on the page. Folded in my handbag for no one to see'; quietly forgotten with no eyes to see them, no voice to speak them. At least on the screen they are out there, in the big wide world, for people to absorb - should they want to.