I hate Jade Goody.I believe she represents everything that is wrong with society today and living proof that television has reached it's lowest form and the people it is reaching out to are only able to communicate through some ug-language and in doing so undo thousands of years of evoultion and labour.
Jade Goody is the flakiest scab of celebrities which should be peeled off and flicked triamphantly towards the waste paper bin of eternity.
In 2002 (yes, nearly FIVE years ago), Jade Goody went into the Big Brother house. I like Big Brother. It entertains me. It's like having pets you don't have to feed. But I don't think that Big Brother should encourage anyone into the false pretense that 'real people' have of the requisites of fame. They should come along, entertain us for the summer, have a bit of publicity and then go back to some vaguely normal life and leave 'being a celebrity' to those who have a bit of talent.
There was a brief lived television series called 'What Jade Did Next'. It seemed a slightly bizarre when no one had previously bothered to answer the question of what the hell Jade ever did in the first place but now, whenever I see Jade Goody on the cover of OK! or Heat or any tabloid or even, heaven forbid, back on the television screen polluting my ear drums with her vile Bermondsy twang, I have an overwhelming urge to scream 'WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE?!?'
On the one hand you almost have to respect her. The woman has made millions for doing absolutely bugger all. She's managed to fool a large number people into caring what is going on in her life.
Apparently Jade's 'charm' is that she's 'real'. A slightly ironic statement when you consider the amount of plastic surgery she's had. Maybe it's the fact that she's 'working class', a phrase which the tabloids seem so difficult to define in an age where we're all supposed to be whipping up Nigella Lawson delights and working on our decking at the weekend. Maybe is shows us that Jade still eats pie and chips with her mates and swaps cheery banter with the green grocer and clings to all the vestiages of a lost age. If Jade is 'working class' then the working classes are demanding agents and memberships to Soho House and Cartier watches?
It worries me that every struggling school kid and now say 'Look at Jade. She can barely read, can't spell, struggles to add up and now she's buying a BMW and a flat in Primrose Hill'.
Of course for millions its just another promise the tabloids can't deliver. Jade is the spawn of the tabloid world, oblivious to the world, books and outside knowledge. And now, like some demented modern farmer, the tabloids are starting to feed themselves on their own diseased product. It is like a mother complaining that the child she's brought up on a diet of pure fizzy drinks and McDonalds is now fat and acned.
Jade has entered 'Celebrity Big Brother' and all hell has broken loose. With every day that passes I can imagine Jade's publicists have less and less hair as they all watch helplessly screaming 'Just stop talking' at the television screen.
I am sitting back watching it unfold and secretly hoping that the very television programme that launched Jade into this inexplicable superstar will be the very thing that leads to her ultimate demise.
It's a beautiful irony.
